Sunday, September 24, 2006

Does someone have a hip flexor I can borrow?

Seriously, I'm about to trade my left hip flexor in for another one! Today was the big 20-miler (or, as the coaches were calling it, "a 3- mile race preceded by a 17-mile commute) from 168th street over the GWB to Palisades State Park in Jersey and back. I was nervous about it all week because of my stupid hip--no running for me since last weekend's failed attempted at 11 miles in Harrison. I stuck to no-impact cardio, pool workouts and rest. I felt much better by Thursday and thought that I might be able to pull 20 miles off today, but when I woke up this morning, my hip still hurt. Oh well, off I went at 5:45am to get uptown in time for my pace group's start. Oh, and there were definitely people coming home as I was leaving. Awesome.

It was pretty eerie getting off the subway at 6:15am (still dark) by Columbia Presbyterian and head down to Riverside Drive. I stopped at the hospital to use the bathroom and the guard didn't want to let me in until I smiled at him and showed him my Columbia i.d. Who knew that it would come in so handy?

Anyway, my pace group assembled and off we went (sans Frank due to Rosh Hashanah) under Louie's fearless leadership. (Although, he and Steve were about to turn the wrong way and the 15 women in the group stopped him! This is proof that women are better with directions than men!) My hip didn't hurt for the first few miles, and I made it over the GWB again and crossed into Jersey. When we got to the Palisades and had to start climbing hills every hundred feet, my hip protested and I figured I wouldn't make it for the whole 20. My heart rate felt good, my legs felt good, my lungs felt good, but there was no way. I started walking the hills (they were BIG hills) and running on the flats. Omar taught me some stretches and helped me out every few miles, and soon we were run-walking together. I lasted until mile 10 and knew I needed to pack it in. Zakia came and picked me up and we drove along the course cheering runners on the whole way. My pace group looked SO strong and so happy, and I was sad, angry and frustrated not to be out there with them! This is the third long run that has ended prematurely for me, which is so aggravating because mentally I know I can do it. Coach Adam reassured me that I would be able to make up some mileage next weekend, but I have to focus on healing first. I headed home and hit the pool, which made a bit of a difference...Here's to a return with a vengeance next weekend!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Discouraged...

Yesterday, I traveled with the team out to Harrison, NY for an 11-mile recovery run. I had a hard time getting up--I kept thinking, "Why get up for 11 miles? What's the point?" That wasn't cockiness. but tiredness. We did start at 9am, though, so I didn't have to get up TOO early. Thanks to Nina for driving out to Westchester! It was awesome, and the company was fun :). Dave, can I hear a little more of your Forrest Gump impression? I promise I'll work on being more spontaneous!

What a beautiful day for a run! We got going, and immediately, my hip flexor (pulled last weekend) started to hurt. I'd been nursing it all week and I thought I could push through it, but then I realized that it would be smarter to stop, rest, and be in good shape for next weekend's 20 miler. At mile 3, I bailed out. My team was really supportive and said they were proud of me for making the decision to stop. Autumn, a great TFK supporter, came to pick me up and drove me back to the start area. She was lovely and tried to sell the benefits of the run/walk plan for the marathon. If I don't rebound from this injury, I very well might be run/walking!

Back at the start/finish, I was really frustrated. I've felt pretty good after every run so far this season, with the exception of yesterday and last week. To have two bad weeks in a row is pretty discouraging. I kept telling myself, though, that it's better to have to stop on the 11 miler rather than to stop during the 20. I sat and watched the fast pace groups come in (these are folks COMMUTING at 8:00 minutes and under--crazy fast!), which was pretty cool because I'm usually out on the course for hours after they finish. They were all really nice, stopping and asking me how I was and bringing me ice. TFK staff took really good care of me, too, as always. It's such a supportive group. I've experienced it firsthand several times now!

As the other groups started coming in, I moved over to the finish line so I could cheer the Fireasses in. It was a tough run for some groups--the body is still recovering from our 18 miler last weekend, and the course, though beautiful, was really confusing and some groups got lost and ran several extra miles. I said I felt the support when I had to stop running--I saw what may be the strongest example of what a great group TFK is. Avi and Bob, two of the speedracers who came in with the fastest pace groups, ran the last 1/4 mile with runners who were struggling to finish. It was really amazing to watch, and I could how grateful my teammates were for the extra little boost. Such a simple gesture, and it made SUCH a difference for so many people! Avi and Bob, you guys rock!

I'm going to be taking it easy this week. Coach Adam told me not to run with a hurt hip, and to do no-impact cardio only. He said swimming was ok, so I went to the pool for awhile when I got home yesterday to get rid of some of my frustration. I felt better, but not 100%. I think a visit with the Aldens today will help my mood a bit--I do love it when fun people randomly show up in NYC! Here's to being better by next week's 20!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Running a marathon is a lot like social work

I'm feeling a bit introspective today. I don't know if it's the weather (gray and rainy) ,or the fact that I went to a training on worldview, culturally appropriate intervention strategies, and multicultural organizations this morning, or because it's week 2 of a new school year (my last in the master's program) and I'm already tired. In any case, I've decided that training for a marathon has some similarities to becoming a social worker. Here is what I've come up with so far:

1) It's all about the support. This morning during the workshop, we spent a lot of time building group norms and establishing a connection in the group, so that by the midpoint of the workshop, we were supporting each other and we could tolerate ambiguity a lot more than we could at the beginning of the process. We deviated from the agenda a little because someone brought up a point worthy of exploring further, but it was clear that supporting that person was important to the whole group. Certainly, social work is a tough field made much easier through the support of colleagues and mentors. We work with clients and communities to empower them to make change, to reach a particular goal. We work on the issues that need attention right now, issues that other people don't want to (or don't know how to) touch.

Running a marathon with a team is definitely ALL about the support. Check out my previous post about the GWB run and my big wipeout and you'll see what I mean. I've told so many people that I would never be able to train on my own, to make it through the long runs on my own, or to stay motivated. Team for Kids members have such great connection. I don't know everybody, but we're all in this together all the way to November 5. We can talk about our successes, our aches and pains, our favorite gatorade flavors, the mental battle to make it through the last two miles of an 18 mile run, etc. It's all about the support!

2) It's all about possibility. If I didn't believe in possibility, I would have a hard time being the kind of social worker I want to be. My vocation is to organize for social change and social justice. In less than a year, I'll have an MSW after my name, and I'll be working with people who may not believe in possibility as much as I do. I'm always surprised and saddened to meet social workers in the field who have become cynical and jaded after practicing for a few years. I don't want to be like that. I chose this field because it's such a great platform from which to make change, but I'm not going to get very far if I don't continue to believe that large-scale, systematic change is possible.

But I'm lucky-- my belief in possibility has been reaffirmed through marathon training as I test my body and mind every week. I never would've thought that an 11-mile run would be a short distance, or that I would be able to run over a bridge to another state several hours into my run! Part of me still can't believe I'm capable of these things, but there you have it. Possibility. And the kids we're supporting through our fundraising efforts--THEY embody possibility. It's overwhelming, really, to think that our work is giving them opportunities that they would not have otherwise, and they can turn around and do the same for the next group of kids. (until, hopefully, we get to the root of the problem and these programs aren't necessary anymore, but that's a conversation for another day)

3). It's all about patience. I'm the first to admit that I am not a patient person. However, social work requires patience because change takes time. Clinicians and clients are engaged in what could be long processes, and policymakers may have to stick it out in the trenches before the perfect moment for change on a macro level can happen. As I've been training for the marathon, I've found that I have great days, ok days, and crappy days. I have to fight with myself to hang on through the crappy days, but that usually means that an ok day (or even a great day) is not too far away. Patience. I'm still working on it, as a runner in training and as a social worker in training.

Consider this a list in progress. There is no doubt that something is happening to my worldview as a result of this marathon training process. I'm not sure what the lasting impact will be--I can't articulate it just yet--but on November 6th, (the day after the marathon) I'll be a different person.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Today's run in numbers

Number of minutes spent waiting for subway to get to run: 30
Number of Fireasses (aka the 11:30 pace group) who came to run this weekend: 24
Number of laps around the dirt track in Riverside Park to start off the run: 4
Number of bridges crossed: 1 (but I did it twice!)
Number of states visited: 2
Number of TFKers who gave me high-fives as I crossed the GWB: lots
Number of fig newtons I ate during the run: 4 (I think?)
Number of miles I ran before taking a huge yardsale on the jogging path in Riverside Park: 17.5
Number of miles I walked after said yardsale: .5
Number of watches lost after said yardsale: 1
Number of TFKers who took care of me after I bit the dust: lots (thanks, guys!!)
Number of PB&J sandwiches I ate after the run: 1
Number of pudding cups I ate after the run: 1

I really felt the team spirit today as we ran from 72nd st in Riverside Park up the west side to Fort Tryon Park (around the Cloisters), over the GW Bridge and back. The views from the Cloisters and over the GWB were unbelievable, and I forgot my various aches and pains as my teammates passed and gave me high-fives along the way. I focused on the Manhattan skyline and tried not to think about the paper waiting for me when I got home. I have to say, it worked! How cool to run over the bridge and back and along such a beautiful greenway! Now I can actually say that I ran to Jersey and back.

I plugged along and started to feel some tightness in my hip during the last few miles of the run. When I started running, my ankle really hurt, but some of the pain went away, so I was grateful for that. Around mile 15, I really REALLY wanted to stop running, but Patty and I kept each other focused. I battled in my head a little, but had a rhythmn down and was half a mile from the finish when a loose rock on the path caught my toe and I went down. I was stunned, and I remember thinking, "Why am I on the ground? I need to finishing this effing thing!"

But no, I was on the ground. My knee, elbows and palms were completely scraped and bleeding. A crowd of TFKers came over to see if I was ok. Someone poured water on my knee to get the dirt out and Louie lent me his towel. Coach Dave biked by and sent Sarah down with a first aid kit. She cleaned me up and walked back to the finish with me. Seriously, I was so frustrated. I kept thinking, "I could've finished running! I could've finished running!" It was just so aggravating--the whole time my ankle hurt, and that's not even what got me. It was a stupid rock on the path!

Sarah and I walked to the finish (well, she walked, I limped) and my team cheered when they saw me. Nancy came over and gave me a big hug while I broke down. I was still startled from wiping out and angry at the timing of it. "I could've finished, Nancy!" She pulled back and said, "Where do you think you are? You finished! Don't let me efffing hear that you didn't finish!" All the Fireasses gathered around for a big group hug, and then they all scattered to bring me a PB&J (chunky with strawberry!), ice for my knee, advil, and my bag. They were such a supportive bunch. I can't imagine doing this without them!

So do I get credit for the full 18?

Saturday, September 09, 2006

a little scared...

Tomorrow is going to be so intense. 18 miles, from 72nd street up to the cloisters, over the GW bridge to touch jersey, and back. Coach Adam's email yesterday was supposed to make us feel better:

"Remember though that you've already run 16 miles, which means that your run this Sunday is only two miles of new running. Two miles, anyone can do that!"

Still, I was with Tom at the farmer's market this morning, telling him what I'm going to do tomorrow, and he just looked at me. "M, that's really far."

I know.

This week, I had some ankle pain on Tuesday morning and again Thursday at the CU 5k fun run. I hope my body cooperates tomorrow! Plus, J and I volunteered to lead discussion in our Children and Families course this week, so I have a paper due by 11pm tomorrow night. What? Already? And so it begins....You can bet I'm not going to feel like writing that thing after 18 miles tomorrow!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

T and I earned our Jamba Juice today!

TFK folks ran an easy 10 miles (not too long ago, 10 miles seemed like a lot!) in the remnants of Ernesto yesterday, and I slept in and had a very lazy day on my own. i'd already committed to running the same 14.2 mile training run this morning that i did last year, the one from the top of manhattan to the top of battery park. T couldn't join me last year, so I did it on my own with some help from three very kind strangers, two of which came over and reintroduced themselves after today's run! how fitting, to go back a year later to the run that welcomed me to New York and started me thinking that I might be able to do a marathon! I was getting a little nostalgic, but I tried to keep it under control. But seriously, how fast did the year go?

T and I found each other on the subway really early this morning, and we headed to the start. T was a little anxious about the distance, and kept telling me that I was her coach for the day. I'm not sure how much coaching I did, but I did keep us at a comfortable "commute" pace and prevented T from starting out too fast. By mile 10, we were passing folks who did just that! The run was just beautiful--the sun was shining, the neighborhoods were interesting, the views from Riverside drive were breathtaking, and we had plenty of time to catch up on life. I could've done without the annoying DJ who kept telling us to speed up and the two dead rats that were in my path, but otherwise, it was a fun few hours! T kept saying that I've joined some weird cult, which I guess is true to a certain extent, because everyone at the run was talking about last weekend's half or races coming up, and T felt like she was the only one not wearing a running t-shirt. (She wasn't). She does have a point, though--there is definitely a culture of running, and if she thought this run was intense, she should be part of some of the TFK back and forth that goes on at practice and online! Who else gets excited about gatorade high endurance?

T did great, and by the end of the run we were talking about how good a Jamba Juice would taste, so we took off to satisfy the craving. Two Strawberry Sunrises later, we were much happier campers. Now it's on to the rest of the day, which means homework and other chores to get ready for the start of classes on Tuesday. No pictures of today's run--I guess we forgot, although we did talk about taking some! You'll just have to take our word for it!