a new chapter

I've been thinking about trying to run more seriously again for awhile now. My new year's resolution, if you can call it that, was to find a way into the NYC marathon again. I didn't try for 2007, didn't get into 2008, and am not in shape enough to run in 2009. But I did join NYRR in January after resisting for ages, partially because of the way I felt they mistreated Coach Adam back in 2006. But resistance is futile--they're the only game in town if you want guaranteed entry, so I gave in. A few weeks ago, I ran my first NYRR race, the gridiron classic. Superbowl Sunday morning in Central Park, 4 miles in the freezing cold. I couldn't feel my toes for the first mile and a half, but it was great. I was proud and happy to finish and I had my cheering section of one meet me at the finish line.

Fast forward to this morning. The Al Gordon Snowflake 5k in Prospect Park. I don't usually do 5ks because I prefer distance. (It's not as embarrassing to run slowly during longer races, but during a 5k, everyone goes quite fast). I was really excited, though, because it was so close to my house. But something just didn't feel right. I was tired, it was FREEZING, and each mile felt longer than the last. (Seriously, it might have been the longest 5k I've ever done). I couldn't feel my toes for most of the race, which made it quite a challenge. (I don't think I realized how important toes really are!) Maybe it was that I went in thinking it would be no big deal, over in half an hour etc that got me in trouble. I guess the lesson here is that I need to take each race as seriously as the last. The whole time I was running, I kept reminding myself that I just need to do this, to get back out there, to put one foot in front of the other, if I really want to run another marathon. What's a marathon but a whole bunch of short races strung together, right?

Now that I'm home in my warm apartment, I'm happy I did it. Of course, I'm going to have good days and bad days, but each race will bring me closer to fall 2010. Here's to proving 2006 wasn't a fluke!

the brooklyn half--sort of

I set out for my usual Saturday morning run in Prospect Park and was very surprised to find masses of people running the Brooklyn half marathon along my route. (That's right, it's MY route! ;)) I should've remembered, since my coworker told me a few days ago that she was running it. Anyway, I wondered what to do for a quick second, and then I figured I would just run alongside the course. As long as I didn't try to win a la Rosie Ruiz (seems particularly fitting given the Boston marathon a few weeks ago!) it shouldn't be a problem. As I ran mile 9-13 of the course, I got a little swept up in the energy of race day. All these people were cheering and urging us on. Us, right, like I worked as hard as the people who actually ran an entire half marathon today! It made me remember how much I miss racing (and by 'racing, I mean endurance running, since we've established that I am not fast).

I cut out of the park at Grand Army Plaza and ran through the farmer's market and past a million baby carriages. And that is a typical Saturday in Brooklyn, if not an entirely typical run for me!

B runs Boston

In the spirit of the family marathon tradition, my brother took on 26.2 in Boston this past Monday. Here are some photos of his cheering section at the halfway mark (let me tell you, a lot of work went into those signs!) and of B running past us. He finished--any runner's goal for the first marathon. Way to go, B!

starting over...

I've taken a bit of a break from any hardcore running over the last few months and stuck to the gym and to yoga. I've run a little, but only about once a week and for a few miles at a time. Today was so beautiful that I opted to go for a loop of the park instead of to the gym. It finally felt like spring--the sun was shining, there was a breeze, it was opening day at the zoo, so there were families everywhere, all with little kids wearing animal masks. The trees were starting to bloom and all sorts of people were out playing soccer, biking, etc.

It felt great to be outside, but I just could not get a rhythm down. I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it. It was a struggle to finish 4 miles. My legs weren't tired, but I just didn't have the energy to keep going. I hate feeling like I'm starting over from square one in anticipation of next fall's marathon. (I haven't gotten in for sure yet, but I really want to run, either through the lottery or through charity). I really am starting from scratch, and the task feels daunting. If I couldn't comfortably run 4 miles today, how am I going to do 10, 12, 15, or 20?

I realize I'm being ridiculous, since I haven't been training, and I am the first person to say that we have to run our own races and start small. (I just wrote an article about that for a friend's blog). I'm just feeling a bit frustrated. I hope it'll pass as I add running back into my regular routine, and I hope I can stay strong and injury-free.

some photos from the NYC marathon 2007

Paula Radcliffe and Gete Wami, the two amazing women who will eventually take first and second in the women's division. (This picture was taken at mile 7, a mere 38 minutes into their marathon)

an adorable little kid near me who was giving passing runners a little extra support.

Mary and Emily, all set to cheer with their Jackrabbit noisemakers

one year ago tomorrow...

Tomorrow is marathon Sunday in New York City. I am so proud of my friends and teammates who are running, but I am heartbroken not to be among them. Friday night was our team dinner--Race with Purpose folks invited me to join them because I volunteered this season. I was so touched to be included, to still be considered part of the team even though I am not racing this year.

My friend Sarah, who was on staff at Team for Kids, is running with RWP tomorrow. She is amazing, and I feel truly lucky to know her. She's run two marathons for AIDS foundations, and tomorrow will be her third for charity. She is injured and hoping to finish in 5 1/2 to 6 hours, a 12-13 minute pace per mile. Despite her challenges, she is always smiling and ready with an inspiring word. Even so, she needed to be lifted up a little last night--she was anxious about her pacing and feeling that her performance would be diminished by other teammates' speedy showings out on the course tomorrow. Many of them have already qualified for Boston (running marathons in about 3:15 or so). I reminded Sarah (and myself, really) that we don't need to compare ourselves to the fastest teammates. I am never going to run a 3:15 marathon, or even a four hour one, for that matter. My body is not built for it. Sarah and I and other "slow" runners need to think of all those other people who can't even fathom running a marathon and remember that what we do is also extraordinary. In a lot of ways, it's harder for the slower folks to get out there and do it, and for many of us, we've come a long way to get where we are. (Remember when I hated running and couldn't last 15 minutes?)

Most of all, we need to run our own races, not anyone else's. This year's marathon is not my race, but that 7 miles I did this morning felt great and you can bet I'll be back in 2008. Tomorrow, I'll be on 4th avenue in Brooklyn holding pretzels for Sarah and cheering on my teammates as they race with purpose....

STRONG
BREATHE
RELAX
CADENCE
PATIENCE

invigorated (and not by running)

i know i usually write about running here, but i'm departing from that topic for this post. i had a great day today, despite the rain. the highlight was brunch with two extraordinary social workers. i was truly inspired by our conversation--your typical brunch banter about institutional oppression. all of us work in social services and we are challenged daily by the gatekeeping roles we play. on the one hand, we desire to work in solidarity with families and organizations, but we often fall into the trap of pathologizing our clients and failing to see them as whole people who are products of both genetics and society. my friend V said it best, "every time i write 'mom is depressed' on an assessment, i feel sick. we should change the wording to read 'mom is opressed.'" she is right--depression is the result of oppression, and we don't write that because it's not something we can fit neatly onto a service plan and change in 12 months of services.

all day, i have not stopped being grateful for these women. they have pushed me to challenge the oppression that i see in my work and to continue thinking about how i contribute to it through my actions. i really needed a reminder. complacency is my worst enemy.

how to get faster...

Lesson learned yesterday: being really pissed off makes me run REALLY fast. i seriously shaved about two minutes off my mile. as i passed my fellow brooklynites, i definitely got some funny looks. i'm sure they were thinking, "wow, what set this girl off?"

i felt much better afterwards. nothing a little sprint workout won't cure.

ps: go sox!

i can't explain it

it was such a beautiful day today. i love september in new york. it is still warm, but there is a crisp edge to the air that lets us know that something else is on the way. and today was the kind of day that makes me want to soak up the world a little more than i usually do.

i've been feeling sort of down lately, so i headed out to enjoy the sun. i'm not sure what it is-- maybe the transition from school to a full time job, or the fact that work has been utterly insane for the past two weeks. perhaps it's the other personal stuff i've been letting get to me a little too much. i thought a walk in the park might help. i visited a friend in connecticut yesterday, and getting out of the city did me a world of good. it was lovely to be somewhere else, and to be with someone familiar who gets me. still, i haven't fully relaxed in awhile, so i needed some time to myself. i can't say 'alone' because it's difficult to ever really be alone when there are people everywhere.

anyway,when i got to the park and started walking around the loop, something came over me. i ignored the tweak i've been feeling in my knee for the past few days and took off. i don't think i've run that fast since suffering through speed intervals last fall. shockingly, nothing hurt and i felt light on my feet. usually i clomp along rather ungracefully, but not today. i think i just needed to go, to push through everything i've been feeling, to get lost in the music on my ipod. i can't explain the compulsion i felt, or exactly what i was running away from, but that loop around the park made me feel so much better. it's amazing how that happens. i'm so glad i've found running as an outlet. what do the nonrunners do? :)

I am in love...

with brooklyn.

it's awesome. i love my new apartment (even the bunny farm next door, although it reminds me of the scene from "roger and me"), my new neighborhood, and my roommates. i love that prospect park is super close by, and that i just did a loop with my roomie. it's a great way to catch up about our days. but i am SO out of shape. i'd better figure that out, since there was a race starting as we were leaving tonight, and i really want to get my race on soon.

in the meantime, here's to lots more runs to explore the new (to me) borough!

when i look like i've run, but i haven't

it was really hot yesterday. really hot. and it had poured the night before. So much so, in fact, that the subways in NYC completely flooded. Perhaps you read about. When I came out of my apartment and realized the train downtown wouldn't be an option, I waited for a bus. Several passed by, but those were full. I found a friend who was also trying to figure out how to get to work, and we started walking in the humid grossness. It was disgusting. At one point, my friend turned to me and said "You look like you've just run ten miles." Great.

Luckily, when we got to 96th street, the 2/3 trains were running, but only as far as 34th. My friend could walk to work from there, but I still had a ways to go to get to the financial district. I decided to get off at 42nd and see if I could catch another train (someone told me there were some running), but no luck. When 2 hours had passed and I hadn't made it any further downtown, I decided to bag it and go home. Unfortunately, it was just too hot to actually run ten miles.

swimming, biking, running, and helping

With any big race come many emotional stories of endurance, hope, and pride. Several of my RWP/TFK teammates participated in the NYC triathlon a few weeks ago. You can read about what they did on Coach Adam's blog here. I'm not as hardcore as they are, so I was sleeping. But, a family friend recently shared a story with me about that day that is as amazing as the accomplishment of finishing such an intense race.

A few days ago, I attended a funeral service for the newborn son of a close family friend. The baby's death was truly a tragedy. He was very premature and wasn't able to leave the NICU. His entire family gathered at the hospital during the last few days of his short life to say their good-byes. On the way uptown, his grandparents got stuck in the middle of the NYC triathhlon. Traffic was completely stopped and roads were barricaded for the extraordinary athletes competing that day. My friends were understandably angry at the delay and overcome with grief at the thought of losing their grandson. A police officer on duty at the tri came to their aid, asking where they were going and what the situation was. The baby's grandfather is a fairly imposing man, and to see him broken with grief is a heartwrenching sight. Whatever the cause, something stirred inside the police officer, who motioned for the family to follow her. She escorted them through the triathlon and all the way to the front door of the hospital, where they were able to see their grandson just hours before he passed.

I love this story because it reaffirms my faith in humanity on the most basic level. Also, I am a social worker, and I love what the police officer did for this family in a moment of incredible need. One does not need to perform earth -shattering feats to be a hero(ine). Lastly, I think the NYC triathlon is a perfect backdrop for a story like this. In endurance sports, we always strive to PR, but this is proof that we can be our best selves outside the race, too.

gonna be some changes made

a thousand points to you if you know who sang that song! seems fitting given all that's going on for me right now. after a temporary gig, i start a new job next week. i'm excited about the work, and i look forward to the challenge of trying to make change in such a huge, complicated system of social services. yesterday, i went to a big meeting for social workers around new york city, and the sense of hope in the room astounded me. sure, there were people there who are jaded and burned out, but there were more who live their lives looking for the goodness in people and advocating tirelessly for kids and families. i couldn't help but feel pride. That was my community.

wow. deep.

in other news, i will soon be a brooklynite! i was thinking the other day as i was running on the west side (gotta bring it back to running always, right? after all, running is a metaphor for life) about how many places i've lived in the past few years and how many of them i've gotten to know simply through running around. DC, Providence, Boston, Sevilla, New Haven, various parts of Maine, NYC...you get the idea. can't wait to explore brooklyn on foot and tackle the loop in Prospect Park a few times. newness doesn't scare me as much as it once did.

but before i find some new runs, i've got to take care of these shin splints. ouch.

back to running for fun

I decided that i couldn't do the marathon with RWP this year (race with purpose is the new team that folks from team for kids formed). I have too much going on--I just graduated from CUSSW (!!), I moved, and now I'm job hunting. It's hard to think about fitting training into my schedule when I don't even know what my schedule will be. However, I've volunteered to help out during the training season, so hopefully I'll stay connected to my teammates and I can cheer them on November 4. I'm also thinking about a spring marathon--maybe by then I'll feel more settled.

So it's back to running for fun. I am so out of shape. Hard to believe my EASY runs used to be 10+ miles, and now I am barely doing 4. Yikes. Oh well. Now is not the time to feel discouraged about my mileage. Running is how I am taking care of myself during this time of such ambiguity. I went to an alumni thing a couple of months ago where someone actually said in her remarks, "be sure you work out a lot and eat good food while you're unemployed. It helps you feel less disgusting about yourself." Good advice to live by!

a little bit at a time

My six weeks of no running were officially up the day after I got home from New Orleans. (See link at right) After the incredible intensity of the trip, there was nothing I wanted to do more than put on sneakers and get outside. It didn't matter that it was freezing and there was snow on the ground. (Very harsh after being in 70 degree sun for a week!) Not wanting to overdo it, I went for about 20 minutes. Shortly, I realized how out of shape I am. The eliptical just doesn't compare to running for an hour + at a time. I have a lot to do to make up for all this time off, but I'll work up to the old level slowly. I'm not interested in getting injured again. Good luck to all the folks running Boston, Paris, and all those other races. RWP is doing Chicago--sadly, I won't be ready for a marathon in the fall. Maybe I'll go just to cheer them on?

What happens when my physical therapist tells me I can't run???

I go crazy. That's what. Since I last wrote, I went to the doctor and he told me I had to go to PT for four weeks. I went, and it turns out that I would be better off not running for 6 weeks in order to build strength again. I'm in week 3 of 6 and I am going insane. I'm like a running junkie and my physical therapist took away my fix. It's serious. I am SO jealous reading the emails from my teammates on our new Race with Purpose Yahoo group--they're all training for Boston and Paris and talking about upcoming shorter races. I had to pull out of the Cherry Blossom 10 miler, which means no race AND no visit to my dear dckatastrophe (among others). Plus, running is how I take care of myself--I have to keep a care log for my trauma course (we're going to New Orleans in two weeks) and it's BLANK, I tell you, BLANK.

Ok, so I'm being a bit dramatic. I'm finding other ways to blow off steam--yoga, swimming, etc. But that's just not the same when the body is used to a multi-hour run. When I get back from spring break, my 6 weeks will be up and I'll be back in the game. I've decided not to enter the lottery for NYC 2007--I need to finish school and move or whatever, but I'm thinking of tackling a marathon in 2008...Paris, anyone? ;)

Injury update

Ok, so you probably remember that I spent the weeks leading up to the marathon in unbelievable pain because of what I thought was a pulled hip flexor. Well, I FINALLY went to the doctor about it three weeks ago when it wasn't getting better, and the doctor told me that I in fact have a sprained pelvis. I told him all about the pain: when it started, how long it lasted, where it hurt, etc. Without my telling him, the doctor asked me if I had fallen prior to the pain starting. I did fall, during the 18 mile run, but I thought of the fall and the pain as separate occurrences. Turns out, the pain was exacerbated by the fall and it wasn't the running at all. When I fell, one of my pelvis bones rotated forward and my muscles strained to hold it in place. The doctor sent me to PT starting last week, where I was "realigned". Now I am nearly pain free! No running yet--not until I have full range of motion without pain, but I'm getting closer! Why did I put off the visit to the physical therapist for so long?

Time to deal with this, and then I can start thinking about the next race. I signed up for the Cherry Blossom 10 miler in DC with Em and Liz on April 1. I think that's a good goal!

Marathon photos!

I know it's been a long time since I last wrote, but things at school have been insane. I am finally done for the semester--one left to go! Even thought the marathon was awhile ago, it is still completely fresh in my mind and I get chills just thinking about it. I've started running again for about a half an hour at a time. The pain in my hips is nearly gone, but I do have some tightness from time to time. Mostly, I just haven't felt like running. I am starting to miss it, though. I DEFINITELY miss my TFKers! Here are some photos from the marathon. Both were taken by TFK Bob's (see blog at right) roommate on 5th avenue. Notice the "FOR NINA" on my arm. She was with me!

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. I truly am looking forward to going to DC to see the grandparents, despite the difficulty with Mimi's health. And Maine will be such a wonderful rest! Can't wait to come back fresh in January. Hey TFK, how about a reunion?

No Turkey Trot for me

A lot of my TFK teammates ran in Turkey Trots over the weekend--short runs that justify eating a lot of turkey on Thanksgiving. I haven't been running lately because of my hip, so I traded in the Turkey Trot for marathon yoga and pilates sessions at home this weekend. Not to worry, I still ate a lot!

Best of luck to the TFKers who are taking on the 60k in Central Park today! That's right, 37+ miles, 9 4 mile loops plus a little. Wish I could be there to cheer you all on! Can't wait to hear about it.

Some thoughts from Dave Edwards...

There is no "I" in TEAM


WOW, a sea of green all along 26.2-miles of NYC. Congratulations to each and every one of you, my TEAM mates, my FRIENDS, my INSPIRATION, my ENCOURAGEMENT.

WARNING: At this point, you might want to grab a cup of coffee, a Gatorade or something, `cause it's about get heavy.

There is no "I" in TEAM; On Saturday Morning July 8th, 2006, one thousand "I's" came together either in person to central park, or via the web-communications to begin the personal journey for each to achieve their own goal of completing the ING NYC Marathon 2006 via this inlet called TEAM FOR KID'S. Many had never run in a group, let alone had any idea of pace, or pace groups. The "I's" were saying, "I usually run alone", "I run at this pace", "I've never run more than 6 miles", "I got in to TEAM FOR KID's cause I did not get selected in the lottery", "I am here cause I need training and guidance to complete 26.2 miles", "I am here cause I've always watched the ING NYC Marathon, and I say to myself every year, I'm gonna run a marathon one day", "I love kids and what better way to express myself in my marathon experience", "I run because of "________". Over the past few weeks, the "I's" have turned to "MY's", "my pace group", "my pace group friend", "someone I pace with", "TEAM MATES". No where else in running and training will you find a more committed group of adults. Whether you are a 16-minute miler or 5:12 miler, each member of the TEAM embraced you and your efforts, encouraged your performance and accepted you for the sole (soul) you run on, and likewise, you embraced and encourage each TEAM member too.

DATELINE…. November 5th, 2006: ONE THOUSAND "I" RAN AND FINISHED THE ING NYC MARATHON, 26.2 MILES WITH TEAM, TEAM FOR KID's (and Adults too) this could be heard the world around.

Each of you discovered that knowing another green shirt was nearby gave you a since of comfort and security, knowing that TEAM was on the course. And no TEAM is successful with out COACHES and STAFF, who also placed themselves along the sidelines for that game day support in the event that they, each of them has invested their time and wisdom into our success and accomplishment.

You do not know how important TEAM, TEAM MATES, PACE GROUPS, PACE GROUP LEADERS is, until you find yourself running alone on race day. (I know some of you have been curious) As for me, after all of the "pomp & circumstance", the wonderful opportunity to represent TEAM FOR KID's along side of the Borough of Queens in the Foot Locker Five Borough Challenge, and all that I was able to accomplish for TEAM FOR KID's in the past few weeks with this short lived exposure… the gun went off. It was race time and a half mile into it, I found myself running with four people I did not know, nothing… nada…nil…. And soon, I found myself running alone in a really big place, in a really big race on a very empty road for a while. All I kept thinking was "what I would give (right now) to have a TFK team member in a green shirt next to me right now", a pace friend, Martine, Courtney, David (vano), Matt, Adam, Marjory, Brittany. Hey running gods? please send someone from the 9:30's now!… to no avail.

Yet, I made a commitment and a choice, and I was running my best race to date, so I thought. I came up short. Having plans of a 3:40 finish, accepting that today, my time would be 4:09:30. Somewhere around 18, I hit the wall, or the wall hit me, I hit the ground. And just as a mother's love allows them to pick you up and dust you off, telling you it's ok, you'll be fine, and gets you going again….. There on the course was a TEAM FOR KID's COACH, offering a hand of support. Just as in the past 17 weeks along the training course, COACHES encouraging each of us along the way, giving us the encouragement, motivation, education and inner strength to meet our goals and achieve greatness in our lives, this COACH, and all of our TEAM FOR KID's COACHES encouraged me to carry on, to finish, for all that I am, all that my family is (as they are awaiting my arrival at the finish line) and all that each and every TFK TEAM MATE is to me.

Thank you to the COACH that stayed with me and paced me, the running gods answered my wish when I needed it most. I finish my Marathon with a TFK TEAM MATE in hand as we crossed the finish line. Thank you COACH and COACHES.

So, if you are still questioning your marathon run. STOP! You ran, you finished. Pick it up in the next one.

As I look back on my Marathon this past Sunday, many of the COACHES have encouraged me to self evaluate, write down the good, the bad (and the ugly) and what was different from a previous. I have done that, and I won't bore you with those details. There are no "DO OVER's" for November 5th, 2006, it is what it is. But there is a "DO IT AGAIN", and yes, another marathon is in my future, and yours too. And just as I have looked at my race, I encourage each of you to take a look at your race. You finished, and that is the goal. Now for the Over Achiever out there (oh, I think that is everyone of us now, right), stay involved. Set goals, next week, next month, six months, one year, what races am I going to do? And what am I going to do to improve my running abilities?… Self evaluate and plan.

Yes, the past week, post Marathon, you're becoming reacquainted with family, friends, partners, spouses, etc., this is great, especially after the past 17 weeks. As you recover, the "I" in I'm going out for a run will have an unfamiliar ring to it for a while. Many of us will be faced with running solo on a local path, street or park near our house or apartment. It's OK, the TEAM is always out were. Put on the green shirt, a magical memory will come to mind immediately, a sense of pride, a sense of community and since of giving comes about as you slip that shirt on and run in it.

Again, Thank you to each and every one of you for making this TEAM FOR KIDs 2006 my best marathon every, and my best running summer of training ever. I look forward to spending time in the "off-season" at a run or a race with each of you, just to "catch-up", to listen to you tell me about "Your Marathon" and how life is different and better now.

DING DNIG: I know. I know…. it's time for a refill on your coffee. Sorry, I've never been good a making a long story short. That is most likely why I run 26.2 mile, not 5K's. So bear with me another minute or two.

What to do in the TFK winter and spring months? RUN! Get Involved!

FIRST: Let's all plan on post one month get together run at the NYRR Holiday 4 mile / Kid's Play Party ( http://www.nyrr.org/race/2006/r1202x00 ). Many of the "Kids" running in the NYRR Foundation City wide Programs will be out at this race. This is great way to run with the "Kids" we are in support of.

SECOND: New York Road Runners Club www.nyrr.org Sign up for regularly scheduled races and events. When you sign up for a race, please remember to sign up with your TEAM: TFK. For those outside of NYC, Get involved in a Running Club near you.
Express your TFK self.

THIRD: New York Road Runners Foundation. Become a VOLUNTEER! Get involved with the Jamborees and Cross-Country races for the "Kids". www.nyrrfoundation.org go to the VOLUNTEER tab, click, scroll down, VOLUNTEER APPLICATION PDF, click it, print it, fill it our, fax it in, GET INVOLVED!

FOURTH: www.marathonguide.com find a full or a half marathon, make a plan, set a goal, go there, and "DO IT (AGAIN)". And let us know where you are running and follow up by tell us how you did. The TFK 2006 yahoo site lives on.

FIFTH: www.active.com This site has everything sports by sport by zip code and or area/region. Look for your sport near you.

The TFK 2006 Yahoo web site. Keep your email active for this. Coach Adam, The TFK Staff and The NYRR Foundation will make Special Announcements from this venue for you to be involved in Special Opportunities involving TFK Members and Races and Activities we all can partake in.

STAY TUNED, Great Things area coming your way!

Again, Thank you (for hanging on this long) for allowing me to run with each and everyone of you, my life is much more enriched because of each of you. This is only the beginning of journey to a life without boundaries and limitations set by society. Today, I, and each of you have accomplished more than the average person standing next to you on an average day. For this, be proud and continue to achieve.

Gotta Run…. Very Truly Yours,

Dave Edwards